I will be blogging 2x a month for Lutheran Campus Ministries!I will start out by sharing a little bit about myself. This is my first year as a student leader at Grace, and I am really enjoying it! I have gotten more involved with the sharing of music this year by singing and also playing the washboard when we do bluegrass! I have become more comfortable with the other student leaders, and I have been enjoying welcoming new people into the church. I’m from Minnesota and I was raised Lutheran. I started out at Prince of Peace, then we switched to Shepherd of the Valley, and now I go to Grace! After this semester, I will likely move to California and have to search again for a church I enjoy. I have always been very strong in my faith. Here’s a story from my childhood that my mom told me: When I was three, I once spent a whole day in my bedroom. My mom came in and I was sitting on my bed, talking. She asked who I was talking to, and I said “Jesus!” She was astounded and a bit scared, because she wasn’t quite sure how we had met. I honestly feel a very personal connection with Jesus. His voice is very present and I maintain a pretty constant stream of conversation with my Lord. I am not free of sin by any means, and I often get sidetracked or wrapped up in my own story instead of reaching solely to be a part of His story, which is my idealistic goal as a Christian. I have been through many tough times. These are moments in which my fellow Christians have admitted they have questioned God, His love for us, and His intentions. For me, I would not have made it through some times with that mentality. Instead I viewed the challenges that God has presented me as gifts. God knows my strength and ability to be resilient through adversity, and I take that as the highest of compliments. I have learned so much by trusting in God and persevering in tough times. I try to stay positive in spirits, buy I am a hard-edged Realist when it gets down to it. My most recent test from God happened less than a week ago. My little sister’s ex-boyfriend who I had met on several occasions committed suicide. He had broken up with her quite harshly and said many very cruel things to my dear sister. She trudged through the break-up process, and even got asked to homecoming by a new beau. After she went to Homecoming, Adam asked to see her. They hung out a couple days in a row, because he confided in her that he really missed her, he was terribly lonely, and had only dumped her because his Dad didn’t like the two of them together. My sister Megan forgave him but did not want to further a romantic relationship with him, although they were still close friends. The day after that conversation he took his life using his father’s gun. I am not a very emotional person. I am mostly comprised of logical speculation. This situation makes me sad and angry. I feel sad that Adam did not have the faith or strength to know that he could get through that time. He would have entered a new chapter in his life shortly after graduating high school. He had a stable family situation and financial contributions from his parents. A lot he didn’t have to worry about, but I don’t think he realized that or he would have been more grateful of his situation. This is the point at which I get angry. It’s unfair to those that had given him so much and now they have to suffer. I also feel impassioned to push for stricter gun education and regulations when it comes to distribution, licensing, and safe storage. Unfortunately, this is America, guns are sold at Wal-Mart, and the right to bear arms is in the Constitution. With my decently solid knowledge of history, I would estimate it’s going to be a minimum of 100 years before that changes. The thing is, I don’t get mad at God for these frustrating and saddening items and occurrences. I know He’s not happy about them either. I don’t view God as a puppeteer, but more as a partner and all-knowing overseer. That’s how knowing God helps me through tough times.